Step 1. Now, in their early teens it is notorious that everybody always turns a bit strange. Avoid this if possible, and also avoid any ‘phases’ attatched to it, including the gothic, emo, punk and barbie stages. If you do successfully avoid these stages, it is unlikely you will have any embarrassing year 7 Facebook photos that can be dragged up from the pit of darkness and that you can be eternally teased for. Such as this one:
Oh yep, and the classic ‘let’s lie in the middle of the road’ one:
Step 2. Whilst we’re on the subject of Facebook, never ever write a status every 2 minutes such as this one:
Again, it will come back to haunt you, you will regret it, and although you may have that burning question you want to ask the world – it can wait. And it should. Probably forever.
Step 3. Try not to scare old people.
Step 4. Actually socialise, don’t turn into the majority of other teenagers and only have friends inside of school. Don’t sit on your laptop for 3845378 hours a day, in the dark, in your bed, till 2am.
This is only acceptable when you’re doing A-Levels.
Step 5. Ignore what the government say about you, because firstly it literally seems like they make it all up, and secondly, if you listened to everything they said about you, you’d probably have a mental breakdown.
Step 6. Never, ever wear hoodies, it creates a bad image, bro.
Step 7. Don’t dare to be different, people will think you’re weird, and it’ll turn into something out of Mean Girls. Follow the crowd, be a sheep, baa.
SEQUEL: HOW TO SURVIVE SIXTH-FORM.